The Drive By

I was over at The Jet Set reading her most recent post that happened to mention the good ol' fashioned Drive By. I belly laughed. At work. It was good. How good? SO good in fact that I want to write a post about it.

The Drive By. Let's assess this. Who DIDN'T do the Drive By? Well for those of you who didn't A) you are lying and B) I will teach you the ways of The Drive By Scenario. I paint you thy picture...

You and an entourage of girlfriends are in high school, bored on a Saturday night. You are all sitting around at *Larry's house eating homemade puppy-chow and fighting over the last sips of the only Mike's Hard Lemonade Larry's Dad left in the back of the spare refridgerator in the garage. Jumping on the trampoline is SO last year and the hot tub is being cleaned out from last weekends blowout when Larry's parents were out of town.

"Let's go drive around," suggests Carson.

"But where?" stammers Lorenzo.

"Yeah, let's just get out of here," suggests Bobby.

You and the gals gather your beepers JUST IN CASE he, or let's face it your parents, need you late at night, and shuffle outside.

"Which car are we going to take?" says Lorenzo.

"Well, we can take......my Dad's.......vaaaann......" suggests Larry, waiting nervously for the laughs and sneers made towards offering such an old and outdated "ride".

"YES!" replies everyone in unison.

"NO ONE will even notice us in this van, we'll totally be undercover! Like, if we get caught no one will notice us because we're basically in an unmarked car!" exclaims Carson.

And your Gang (in every literal pun intended) is off. The only thing you all forgot was your bandanas and hooded masks. To Drive By the houses of the boys you liked.

This is so absolutely hands down hysterical it hurts my sides just thinking about it! You know you did it. You drove one-by-one to the most recent crush's house. And for what? In hopes they'd see you, come out and exclaim their love for you? Just the butterflies of driving down the street is still fresh in my mind. I remember the anticipation of actually getting up near their house, slowing to a crawling 5 mph and seeing which lights were on and thinking about what they POSSIBLY could be doing inside. Sitting?! Watching TV?! Breathing?! Sleeping?! But NO. This was NOT the point. The SHEER TERROR of the boy actually coming out and catching you was thrill enough in itself. And yet, we still did it, weekend after weekend. The stalkers that you and I and every other entourage of girlfriends became in our pubescent years...it's really quite fascinating.

I love it. I miss being young and so free to get a thrill out of Drive By's on a Saturday night through the neighborhoods of young boys that stole our hearts just for wearing Structure shirts and saying "Hi" to us in the halls between 4th and 5th period.

"OMG! I THINK I SAW SOMEONE TURN OFF A LIGHT. GO GO GO!!!" everyone screams. Larry puts her foot to the pedal and the Astro Van peels out of the cudlesac leaving tire marks, a few skipping heart beats, and a Saturday night worth every priceless second.

*Names have been changed (to our predetermined male alias') to protect the innocent.